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About Deviant Crisis, Kai, Kuraisisu, and TiffFemale/United States Recent Activity
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I can't figure out what's worse, feeling like every day is a dream and being afraid of waking up in hell or realizing it's not a dream and you're already there. I live my life in the twilight, the haze of darkness and light, where every fleeting moment of happiness is treasured and never expected. Who I was is not who I am nor who I will be, so don't expect me to be that person. She is a fluid concept, a shadow out of the corner of the eye, a trick of the light, a mirage on the horizon. Blink and you'll miss it.

 

Don't ask me to be brave, that part of me has forgotten how to be brave. Don't ask me to decide, that part of me is buried in the fear of disappointing someone. Don't ask me to back down, I won't sell my soul for a lie. I will try to understand your point of view if only you will have the patience to explain to me every single angle, for I am over-analytical and even then have extreme difficulty choosing one way or the other. I am aware that I don't always make sense and no one will ever understand how frustrating that is just to myself, let alone the frustration it creates in those that I so desperately want to understand.

 

Please don't mistake my silence for absence, I've not gone anywhere, I'm still here. I'm just waiting. I've never been here before, this is all new. How can I just walk away? Don't say that it's not fair that you're not the person you want to be, I've a feeling I've lost more than you'll ever see. Don't throw everything I've ever done wrong in my face, you cannot even begin to fathom the hell I live in every day, the parts of me that grieve every pain as if it were brand new. Every wound is still fresh, they don't heal, I've just learned to change the bandages.

 

So don't give up on me, don't write me off. Your presence in my silence is more valuable than any material thing. I'm going to push you away, I'm going to hurt you, just please know that I don't do so intentionally. It's just who I am. I hope one day to change that ugly part of me. I just don't know how.

:shamrock: Crisis :shamrock:

  • Mood: Defeated
  • Listening to: Breath of Life by Florence and the Machine
  • Drinking: Tea
I know that only a certain few of you even read my journals anymore, and I'm not surprised considering they're not art related but *shrugs* it's whatever. Just wanted to let those who do follow me still know that I am alive. I won't say well, I've never claimed that.

:skull: Crisis :skull:
  • Mood: Neutral
  • Drinking: Mellow Yellow

I can't figure out what's worse, feeling like every day is a dream and being afraid of waking up in hell or realizing it's not a dream and you're already there. I live my life in the twilight, the haze of darkness and light, where every fleeting moment of happiness is treasured and never expected. Who I was is not who I am nor who I will be, so don't expect me to be that person. She is a fluid concept, a shadow out of the corner of the eye, a trick of the light, a mirage on the horizon. Blink and you'll miss it.

 

Don't ask me to be brave, that part of me has forgotten how to be brave. Don't ask me to decide, that part of me is buried in the fear of disappointing someone. Don't ask me to back down, I won't sell my soul for a lie. I will try to understand your point of view if only you will have the patience to explain to me every single angle, for I am over-analytical and even then have extreme difficulty choosing one way or the other. I am aware that I don't always make sense and no one will ever understand how frustrating that is just to myself, let alone the frustration it creates in those that I so desperately want to understand.

 

Please don't mistake my silence for absence, I've not gone anywhere, I'm still here. I'm just waiting. I've never been here before, this is all new. How can I just walk away? Don't say that it's not fair that you're not the person you want to be, I've a feeling I've lost more than you'll ever see. Don't throw everything I've ever done wrong in my face, you cannot even begin to fathom the hell I live in every day, the parts of me that grieve every pain as if it were brand new. Every wound is still fresh, they don't heal, I've just learned to change the bandages.

 

So don't give up on me, don't write me off. Your presence in my silence is more valuable than any material thing. I'm going to push you away, I'm going to hurt you, just please know that I don't do so intentionally. It's just who I am. I hope one day to change that ugly part of me. I just don't know how.

:shamrock: Crisis :shamrock:

  • Mood: Defeated
  • Listening to: Breath of Life by Florence and the Machine
  • Drinking: Tea

deviantID

CrisisKainota
Crisis, Kai, Kuraisisu, and Tiff
United States
Current Residence: Home
Favourite genre of music: Heavy Metal or Techno
Favourite style of art: Anime
Shell of choice: The Shell of a Hermit Crab
Favourite cartoon character: Gir from Invader Zim!
Personal Quote: Wait for it... Wait for it...! Oooooh! Still not caring!
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:icondennami:
DenNami Featured By Owner May 3, 2013  Student Digital Artist
sankyou for the fave ^^
Reply
:iconcrisiskainota:
CrisisKainota Featured By Owner May 3, 2013
It's a pretty fox :3 No problem Nami-san :hug:
Reply
:iconarahiriel:
Arahiriel Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the fav!
Reply
:iconshawnguku:
shawnguku Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013
Thanks for the watch c:
Reply
:iconkekat147:
KeKat147 Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
still missing you D:
Reply
:iconcrisiskainota:
CrisisKainota Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
Awwwww!!! I've missed you too! :glomp:
Reply
:iconkekat147:
KeKat147 Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
i miss u ._.
Reply
:iconkekat147:
KeKat147 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
Give ♥ This♥ To ♥ The ♥ Twelve ♥ Nicest ♥ People ♥ You ♥ Know ♥ If ♥ You ♥ Get ♥ Five ♥ Back ♥ You ♥ Must ♥ Be ♥ Perfect ♥
Reply
:iconcrisiskainota:
CrisisKainota Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2011
Give ♥ This♥ To ♥ The ♥ Twelve ♥ Nicest ♥ People ♥ You ♥ Know ♥ If ♥ You ♥ Get ♥ Five ♥ Back ♥ You ♥ Must ♥ Be ♥ Perfect ♥
Reply
:iconkekat147:
KeKat147 Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
i miss you DX :stare:
Reply
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